Readers Respond: How Did You Handle Finding Out You Had Herpes?

Responses: 60

What did you do when you found out you had herpes? Who did you talk to? How did you handle telling your partner? Share your story so other "newbies" won't feel so alone. Share Your Story

Still Pondering

Being middle aged fem I have never contracted any std.I'm still trying to figure out how to tell my partner that is so sure that he is clean. After being involved in a new relationshi for 3 weeks, 3 days after having sex I began to have flu like symptoms but only sniffles, scratchy throat and feelin tired. My partner has a very large penis and I thought that I was simply taking a longer period time to heal. I was having some extreme soreness in my vaginal area. I eventually took a mirror to look down to see what was going on. I was shocked to what I had found. There were several white blisters on my vagina. I called him immediately and asked him if he needed to share anything with me. I didn't tell him what I had found but did tell him that I was going to the hospital to get checked out. The MD immediately looked and said that it was herpes but I could go to the health clinic to confirm. I'm still in shock. how did I get it? Does this mean that he is a carrier? Will he test pos?

—sensitive_situation

Its not as bad as people make out..

I found out i had a week ago.. The first outbreak is the worst thing in the world.. I couldnt walk for a week, it hurt when i did anything.. When i found out i had it i cried an didnt know what to do.. I researched it online and didnt seem as bad as people make it out to be, i think its to do with the name, it should be changed! The other is the fact that it stays in your body and can come up at anytime, but then again so does glandular fever.. Obviously i havnt been able to experience a reocuurence but iv been told there no where near as bad as the first lot and you hardly notice. Obviously the bad thing is you can pass it on and you have to be honest with people you sleep with, and with being young this is hard. The hardest thing is tellin ur boyfriend even tho uv bin faithful an its from the past, which is what i now have to face.. Then again if he runs hes just not the one for me!

—Guest :)

i WAS S00 SH0CKD BUT M0ViN 0N

SO IM EiGHTTEEN AND TODAY (WEDNESDAY) I FOUND 0UT iM HERPES POSiTiVE ....IT MY EX BOYFRIEND DIDNT TELL ME HE WAS INFECTED IM NOT EVEN SURE IF HE KNE BUT I JUS DNT WANT TO BELIEVE THT HE WOULD DO ME LIKE THT BUT IT STRTD ON FRIDAY I WAS SWOLLEN AND ITCHY THE I PUT SOME RASH CREAM ON IT MAKIN IT WORST THINKIN IT WAS THE NEW SOAP I WAS USING (DO NOT USE OINTMENT PLEASE IT ONLY MAKES IT WORST) SATURDAY I GOT BLISTERS I WAS HORRIFIED OMG .......WENT STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL GOT A CULTURE TEST AND 3-4 BUSINESS DAYS LATER IM POSITIVE SOOO IM GROWING UP AND GOT LIVE WITH IT AND HOPE THT I DONT HAVE ANYMORE OUTBREAKS

—Guest BETRAYDBUTOVERIT

I got it from my boyfriend

When I found out that my boyfriend had herpes I secretly freaked out because all I could think of were the textbooks in health class with pictures of red bumpy vagina's and wet, crusty, red penis's. Of course when he showed me what one of his outbreaks looked like I was pleasantly surprised to see three tiny pink bumps just below the head of his penis. It completely changed my opinion about the disease. We settled the matter by having him do treatments with valtrex, which had stopped his outbreaks for a couple of months, and we used protection during sex. One night we got... risky and decided to leave the condom in the drawer. A little less than two weeks later I had my first outbreak, I was 18. It wasn't devastating. It wasn't life altering. Since my boyfriend and I already had plans to get married I didn't have to worry about finding someone to accept my little problem. It's not a big deal and unless I'm having an outbreak I don't even think about it.

—Guest kayleeI

Just got it..

I work in an STD Clinic to top it all off...I know all the symptoms and how you get it...so last tues I started to get pelvic pain which started shooting to my lower back..I though maybe PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) I checked up on it but that wasn't it...Wednesday my whole body was hurting and I got a little sore in the back of my mouth..I figured Im getting the flu I always get a canker sore when I get the flu...then I went to urinate and it felt like hell in my urethra & like fire a little further down towards the crease of my vagina almost in my anus it was a little canker sore as well I said it may be nothing..Thurs the flu symptoms were worse fever more pronounced & more sores on my vaginal labia majora both sides very little sores by friday full blown ulcers saw my own boss who said this looks like a herpes outbreak too soon to be tested but I cried & cried thinking I should know better & went into a denial for about a minute but I know I will be ok..Im not less of a lady..

—Guest blackberry

NOT something to be depressed about

i think i contracted genital herpes through my partner who i am still with. he has had many sexual partners before me and my doctor told me the virus can live in your body years before you have an outbreak. the first was the WORST time of my life, I was so sore i couldn't walk for 8 days and had flu like symptoms. i felt ashamed and down about it knowing it would be inside me forever but when it's over, life really does move on. I have had 3 outbreaks in 3 years which my doctor tells me is good and when I can tell something is not right down there all sexual contact stops, I take aciclovir wait for symptoms to pass and life continues as normal. life does not revolve around sex! the stigma attached to herpes is worse than the actual virus. Since my first outbreak they have got better, my third outbreak being more of a physical thing with no pain, itching anything. I actually found thrush more painful. I am only 18 and have found strength n confidence to get past this. it wil be ok!!!!!!

—Guest moving on

hoping on the band wagon

Well after a 1 night stand and sweet no I don't have any std's we made passionate drunk unprotected love! Thankfully herpes was the only thing I contracted. To all those who are taking it bad, its just a skin infection with a very bad social stigma. Lets call it pepes instead of herpes would that make you feel better? Don't worry so much and also remember the majority of people you come into contact with share the same secret as you.

—Guest crazyworldwelivein

My very first outbreak.

I was currently out of town and I had sex with a friend. We used protection everytime except with oral. On my last day, I had a sudden onset of flu-like symptoms and was about to die. When I came home, I noticed my clitoris was very swollen and I had small white bumps in and around my vagina. So I went to the doctor the next morning and that's when she told me I had herpes right off the bat! I cried, cried, cried like it was the end of the world. But I thought to myself atleast I'm very thankful it was not HIV or something else more serious. Little did I know what was lying ahead down the road. It burned so bad everytime I pee'd, my clit was sensative to touch, I held my pee all day because I knew what was instore. I cried everytime I used the bathroom and asked myself why! Its now day 8 and the symptoms have subsided. I'm just hoping my recurrent outbreaks don't be as bad.

—Guest nelly

Recently found out I had herpes

I recently found out I had genital herpes. My boyfriend and I of 5 years left me and I was completely desperate and alone. I had sex with a guy I dated, and just now over a year later I had symptoms. I had only been with my boyfriend of 5 years, so i've only had sex with 2 people. My boyfriend and I got back together, and now we are happily married. I just found out this july, and I couldn't have asked for a better partner to spend my life with than my husband. He totally forgave me and made me feel much more comfortable. I thought he would hate me and think I was disgusting, but he was mad at the guy, not me. He said he will love me no matter what! He said even if I had AIDS he would love me. He is the sweetest man alive, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Surround yourself with positive people that will always be there for you. It was a very emotional and hard time for me to find out I had herpes. Luckily I have a husband that will always accept me for who I am.:)

—Guest Ashleigh

Having a break out now.

Im started my third breakout this past monday after I indulged in chocolate..so good. I have been stressed as well. I started taking llysine to ease and it does help. Anyhow, since then I try to live a normal life until I have a break out and it ruins everything. Im hoping this will be less frequent. For all the posts, I am thank ful that this is up. Reading all the stories. Sometimes I wish I can go back and change the moment I ever decided to sleep with someone other then my ex. I thought I could trust him, we did use condoms, sometimes It wasnt AS safe as could be. I pray they find a cure. That would be a miracle. My boyfriend and I are together and we are both very careful. I am herpes 2 and he is not. But he loves me and we have a baby. I hope with time, I heal. The emotional and physical pain is overwelming.

—Guest Sad that it happened

When I first relized I had something,

It was after my husband and I were seperated on and off.December of last year, I made it official and I met anotehr guy around this time.We became friends and eventually in March we had sex.We had sex, the first time and I felt fine, we used protection, the second time the same and the third time, before he entered anything, I remember him rubbing his thing around there.Then he put the condom on. I was worried because I usually am safe but the next day I felt tired and sick, like I had the flu and I knew something was wrong. I told my husband, stopped talking to Mr. Herpegiver and we went to a clinic.The nurse told me I had herpes.I was so shocked, I went out and cried.This was in March and since then Ive had 3 break outs or so..this week, being the most painful, why I have no idea.My husband is very supportive and he loves me and weve worked things out.He also was with someone else but didnt contract anything, but we both stay clean and honest and try to help eachother out.

—Guest GuestMel-lysine

he didnt tell me

i just found out that i have herpes but dont know how i feel, the guy that gave it to me didnt tell me anything and i used a condom but we did have skin to skin contact when i realised things were getting intense i said get a condom we did and continued the sex wasnt great i wish i didnt bother, didnt really hear from him much after that and was celibate for two years before, a week to 14 days later started to feel itchy and then noticed my vagina had swelled looked again a few days later to see two big white filled spots on my vagina and was really scared, went to the gu nurse said shed didnt think it was herpes, so i was relieved only to get my test results today that confirmed it actually was herpes, i feel really angy at the guy that gave it to me and not sure whether to say anything as i am treating it as a one night stand i guess i think sometimes we take sex for granted if we wear a condom and the adverts highlight it that way but i wasnt thinking about herpes.

—Guest tinana

Only 21

I never felt so horrible in my life. My boyfriend of 4 years past it on to me. Yes he cheated and yes I left him. You get over it and learn to deal. The first few days and maybe weeks are hell. But I didnt let herpes become my title or who I am. Its still rough when i sit down and really think about it all. I havent even know Ive had it for a year yet plus Im only 21 which makes it that much harder for me. But I know I'll be ok in the end. When life gives u lemons...

—Guest watered-down

it doesnt take much

I am the bad one. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Last year after getting drunk with a friend I sobered up to find him trying to get his penis into me. I pushed him off, of course, but I didn't know what happened in between the shots and that time. I was horrified, but as he didn't get it in (I hoped) I got over the incident with not too much self-respect gone. I got tested straight away, of course, and then monthly. On the second checkup (so over a month later) I was told I had some discharge. I was told I was being screened for everything. It came back as a yeast infection, every 2 months. After 7 months, thinking everything was okay I started the pill and had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. It HURT. I went to the clinic who said it looks like thrush again, and tested me for everything but did a herpes swab FOR THE FIRST TIME. I couldn't believe they'd never tested for it before. Yeast infection my arse. I have ruined my boyfriend forever. I wish I had never been born.

—Guest tinkle