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Readers Respond: How Did You Handle Finding Out You Had Herpes?

Responses: 147

By

Updated April 06, 2009

Going through my first outbreak now

I'm going through my first outbreak now. It's unbelievably painful and itchy. It's been about a week and I haven't gone to the doctor yet. I'm a broke college student with no health insurance. I'm hoping to pick up some Lysoine(sp?) tablets soon, hopefully that will help heal this painful outbreak a little bit faster, or so i've read. I got herpes from my boyfriend of 4 months. I haven't told him yet, and don't know if I can bring myself too. I know I should, but I'm just too scared. I don't know if he has cheated on me or not, since we just recently before I got the virus started having unprotected sex. I'm at school in a different state now, and I'm scared to tell him over the phone.
—Guest inpain

it sucks really bad....

well im just your typical 18 years old girl i love you to go out and party and what not. well i thought i had partied a little too hard last weekend. I had sex with a guy and i thought i wasnt lubricated enough so it kinda hurt at first but i got over that. the next day i was in extreme pain i had no idea why. Me bein me i went and stayed with the guy i had been talkin to and of course we had sex that night and again the next morning, despite the fact that it hurt so bad. the next day i went to the doctor with my best friend and found out i have herpes now. i completely freaked!!! I had found out my mom had herpes by the time she was 18 and i wanted to be nothing like her but i felt i was following in her footsteps. i dont know how my future out breaks will be hopefully nothin compared to the one goin on right now to be completely honest its the most pain ive ever been in at all. its been a wake up call and hopefully others will see you dont die it just sucks really bad.
—Guest loner

WELL AT LEAST I LASTED THIS LONG

IM 24 FEMALE. I MY FIRST DOC. APT THURS ITS TUES. IVE BEEN MARRIED 6YRS AND MY HUSBAND HAS ALWAYS HAD HORRIBLE COLDSORES, OUR 6 YR ANNIVERSARY WAS LAST WEEKEND AND WE GOT DRUNK AND CRAZY AND WERENT EVEN THINKING ABOUT HIS COLD SORE... I NOTICED ONE SORE THIS MORNING AND NOW HAVE AT LEAST 2 MORE! IM PRAYING THAT THIS IS THE WORST IT WILL GET. WE HAVE 3 KIDS AND ITS HARD TO BE A MOTHER WHEN YOUR IN PAIN ALL THE TIME! BUT I AM STRONG AND CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING! I STARTED TAKING LYSINE THIS MORNING, I READ THAT LYSINE IS A NATRUAL CURE FOR HERPES IF YOU TAKE IT FOR 60 DAYS STRAIT. BUT AT LEAST IM MARRIED AND I KNOW HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME AS I WILL HIM! AND IM DONE HAVING KIDS SO I WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANY OF THAT. IM PRETTY SURE ITS HERPES. IT MIGHT NOT BE AS BAD AS SOME OF THE PICS BUT IT MIGHT GET THERE! (HOPE NOT!!)
—Guest RICKY BOBBY

hfjfhg

Im not sure exactly if this is what I have.. Im desperate for information I've been crying for hours. Im very young, and feel very stupid for letting this happen. Tho im still a virgin.. I've fulled around. His penis has touched me, as we have attempted to have sex, but after deciding to wait, we now just fool around. Two small red bumps appeared on my vagina on opposite sides, at first I could only feel the bumps, but after a while, they came to a white head. . . Im so afraid, it feels like the end. Im terribly young, and afraid. This has made me think twice about a lot of things. They're painful. But only by touch. and a little itchy.. it burns a little when I pee. But im also soar down there from my recent fooling around... I feel so desperate and scared. I can't even say that enough. Maybe I sound a little ignorant, the symptoms might not even be correct, but im still scared of the possibility... and I don't know how big that possibility is..
—Guest Desperate

They should Take this Board Down

I can't believe this. Herpes is nothing. I was depressed to find out I had it, but that was mostly from what they told me in sex ed. They use Herpes to scare kids by telling you it lasts forever. I had my first outbreak almost three years ago and it was bad... you get the aches and flu symptoms... but I've had one outbreak since then. One. And I didn't get sick, it was over in three weeks. Herpes is classified as a "nuisance infection." The social stigma attached to herpes is a myth and it does way more damage than the virus ever will. Most people have a few outbreaks in the first few years and then never have another one again. Ever. In many populations of 20-40 year olds, upwards of 30% of people have it. So when you're in an office with 20-25 people in it... 4-6 of them have it. These sex ed programs need to get a clue and stop traumatizing and stigmatizing people. I felt like someone should say this because a lot of people will come to this board early on and be overwhelmed.
—Guest Angry

How I Found Out

I found out I had genital herpes after my husband cheated on me. Imagine that....dealing with the affair and then discovering that you have contracted genital herpes because of that. I began to have little red pimple looking like things down there, but didn't know what they were, because herpes was never a thought that crossed my mind. I ended up becoming exhausted and my lymph node glands swelled up down there. I also discovered a painful blister that grew in size within one day. I began experiencing burning and itching and decided to go to the doctor, where I found out that I had genital herpes. He's been the only person I have ever been with, so it has been rough to deal with, especially considering that we have a child and that he did this during our marriage. I don't think I'll ever be ab I have only had one outbreak since I found out, but I hate knowing that for the rest of my life I now have to deal with the mistake that he made. It makes me feel gross and disgusted
—Guest getting over it

not true

i have outbreaks at least once a month, and im healthy and never get sick. i can go two months if im lucky and taking certain amino acids and vitamins which work better than valtrex. even with valtrex it would be once a month, just not as severe. my outbreaks are still worse than the first. herpes makes me want to kill myself. sometimes i have 3-4outbreaks one right after another heals
—Guest victor

feel so guilty

Just got my 2nd test result yesterday. So sick I cannot sleep or eat. Am positive for HSV 2. My symptoms have been weird, just slight fever and limbs ache. I only got myself tested because I had "safe" sex with a girl I met in a bar a couple of months ago (just wanted company really) but am hoping to get back together with my wonderful wife. We have been separated on and off for a year now. I had a cold sore when I did the 1st test 3 weeks ago, the doctor said it was possible it was HSV1 so this week I had the 2nd test - still have the same symptoms - and it has come back positive. Did the IgG test and asked him to check the actual number results: he go them and the first test was 1.1 (borderline) and my heart leapt, but the 2nd one was higher at 1.6. Still I have been clinging to hope it may be HSV 1 and I have been referred to a specialist on Monday. But now I have found my 1st lesion on my penis - and am crushed (hopes dashed). Now much worse I have to tell my wife. I AM BAD
—Guest richie

God Warns Me, The Devil Tricks Me!

I'm 20 years old and have had sex twice.I'm a believer in Christianity and as I read the bible "thou shall not steal or kill" I understood. But "thou shall not comit adultery" well come on! I thought yes many of my friends have suffered greatly because of pre-marital sex (abortions, pregnancy). But so many of my friends brag about how much I'm missing out! "You Need To Get Laid! they said to me, So this girl I really liked i kissed and felt great! she went back with her bf and then i got drunk 3 days later and kissed another girl I saw strictly as a friend. She was very aggresive with me and repeatedly told me not to worry. didn't use a condom . few days later I told my friend and she says get checked out she just slept with 3 other guys recently! Then red bumps appeared. Now I know what I was missing out on! pain, fear, hatred, sorrow! I fell into Satan's trap because I doubted Jesus Christ. With gods help I forgave her and he has forgiven me that has given me peace. Jesus is truth!
—Guest The Forgiver

when i found out i got herpes

when i found out i got herpes it was the worst time of my life. i cried every single day because i knew i would have it for the rest of my life. i talked to my sister and her roomate. they were mad but understanding. i was in so much pain i couldn't use the restroom or walk or sleep. it was really bad. and the guy that gave it to me won't admit it. he said he got tested and doesn't have it but i don't believe him. i never did anything with someonee else.
—Guest barbiee.*

ALWAYS WEAR CONDOMS

i was with a guy that i knew casually for a year. i trusted him, even though he said he "hadn't been tested in a while." IF ANYONE SAYS THAT TO YOU, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM NO MATTER WHAT! i just hope i'm not one of those ppl who gets breakouts all the time. my first experience with it has been body rashes, the foot rash and night-sweats, looking feverish. but luckily, the lesion is a tiny red dot about the size of a pinhead. got the valtrex, TOO BAD IT COSTS $200! the idiot cost me more than i ever imagined. i hate him. and myself.
—Guest victim

Waiting on test results

Im a 21 year old model and last Thursday I was getting ready to go to a shoot when I noticed a little spot on my penis. I now that part of my body VERY well so it stood out immediately. I freaked a little but went and did my shoot. The next day I had a few more, thats when it really sank in I might have herpes. I started researching everything about every STD. After looking up all of my symptoms (8 painless sores, swolen glands and burning pee) I have narrowed it to either herpes or syphilis. Syphilis is what Im praying for. I have only been with 2 girls in the past 9 months, one I am still with. Yesterday, Tuesday, I told her and paid for both of us to get tested. The results come on Friday. I am prepared to learn my results. No matter what it is it will not break me in any way. I recommend to anyone facing this to read evrything you can. Knowledge is the only thing that will help your mind. Herpes itself is not a serious STD in a physical sense, only psychological. Be safe, educate
—Guest Lee

scared

I just found out today I have H.I have been seeing a guy for the last 2 months. My penis was sore after I was with him. I got the flu symptoms. My stomach has been upset lately also. We broke up this weekend and now I find out I have this, he is telling me he has proof from his doctor that he is clear. I text the one other person I was with this year and he is also saying he is clear. I cant believe this has happened to me. I am so angry and upset. I am waiting on blood tests now I hope this is the worst news I recieve. I will never put anyone at risk I know that much.
—Guest Fintan Eire

Herpes is NOT the end of your life

I wish to give hope to all who posted. Please you guys look on the bright side! Herpes sucks and is painful, but it's not lethal and it can be contracted by a simple kiss. Don't feel miserable or desperate because of this, is it any worse than eczema or psoriasis? The stigma probably comes from the fact that' its an STD, but do you know that about 70 to 90% of the population was put in contact with it, and that about 1 person in 6 has type 1 or 2? So no shame in having it, if anyone tells you so they're not worth it. Please people protect yourself while having sex, don't trust your partner because they told you so, Herpes sucks but it will be the least of your worries when not wearing a condom causes you to contract AIDS. As for me I contracted Herpes through my husband, the first outbreak I had was 2 weeks before he dumped me! Such is life, I'm still alive and enjoying sex 4 years later, so do the same: smile and wear condoms until you can trust your partner and talk about herpes.
—Guest Cal girl

My love

A girl started dating me. I really liked her and she approached me 1 week in telling me she had the Herpes Virus. I thought how awful this girl is better then all girls and become corrupt by some idiot. So I read books and looked @ my chances. I wore condoms and was aware of risk. The condom broke one night, and I re entered her and said why run from this. Sure enough 2 weeks later, I had my 1st outbreak, lots of lower back and stomach pain. Anyways....I got it and life goes on. It doesn't control you.
—Guest I'm along for the ride
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