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Readers Respond: How Did You Handle Finding Out You Had Herpes?

Responses: 147


Updated April 06, 2009


Well I am 20 years old and I have had sex with my boyfriend maybe two weeks ago. Then I cheated on him with another guy about 3 days ago but he only gave me oral. Well now I am seeing red blisters on top of my vagina none of them are really around it. But reading everyone stories I am sure it is Herpes now. I have been constantly crying because I know it has to be herpes. At first I tried popping the bumps but they just squirted out blood. I don't know what I am going to do I go to da doctor tomorrow. I am so afraid of the results but at the same time I am preparing for the worst. I will update once I receive my results.
—Guest NOT ME


well, turns out i do in fact have genital herpes...I found this out about 2 months ago and although Im still coping with this, its really not as bad as i thought. Im still very cautious with my son by washing my hands constantly. My husband still hasnt shown any symptoms so i figure he doesnt have it; but its still a what if situation for me and because of that; its put a strain on our relationship, I hope he understands where im coming from and to quit being selfish. But anyway to those of you who are terrified and scared; everything will be ok, dont let herpes disrupt the person you are, its just a little reality check....oh and you arent gonna die lol
—Guest horrfied and scared update


I'm 14 years old. I had a relationship for 7 months with an 18 year guy. About a month ago I found out he had been cheating on me. Four days ago I started to get painful red bumps around my vagina. Each day they got worse. Yesterday my temperature went up to 103 and the bumps were just growing and drying and spreading. I was in too much pain to find a comfortable position to sit, lie, walk. Even peeing causes me to break out screaming. Today I went to my doctors and it was confirmed I have herpes... Its hard to know that the guy I'm pressing charges against for rape will be with me for the rest of my life. Herpes is hard to live with, but at least there's vicodin! And it won't kill us girls, so stay strong. It'll be a good way to test if a boy really loves you- just tell him you have herpes. If he cares, he'll stay. My heart goes out to anyone with herpes... its not fun.
—Guest Anonymous

Easter Sunday

I'm still waiting on the results to determine whether I have HSV-2. I noticed that my vagina was itchy Sunday evening after Easter dinner. I went to the bathroom and noticed 3 white bumbs inside my vagina. I told my boyfriend of 2 years and we did as much research online to determine what it could possibly be. Monday morning I went straight to the doctor and he said he was 98% sure I had herpes. I broke down right away b/c I'm 25 and I just felt like my life was over. The doctor said I could have contracted the virus years ago and it lied dormant in my body. I'm pretty sure I got it from my ex b/c he had cold sores around his mouth but he's had them since he was a child. We've never kissed or had oral sex when he had visible sores. I'm still trying to figure this all out. I'm still in A LOT of pain and it's only getting worse. I have nightmares about the virus and I hate using the bathroom. I wash my hands 20 times a day and cry every day.
—Guest Sad and in a lot of pain!

what lies beneath

my first outbreak happened a couple of years ago. I had sex with my bf, and by the very next night white bumps appeared. I went to the doctor and when I got the call confirming that I had herpes type 2 simplex, I was devastated. I just cried. At the time my bf was so supportive. He got tested and didn't have it. I knew I had't cheated on him, and I found out you could be a carrier and not even know it for years. I stopped wanting to sleep with him because I was afraid of passing it to him. He told me that he loved me and not to worry. A couple years later, he got it. I felt so horrible. Still he was amazing. Said it was messed up, but that he had made that choice, so it is what it is. We had a bay together and the baby came out herpes free (thank God). But now I am devastated. It has only been recently that I found out he has been cheating on me. And part of the reason is because he believed that I cheated and gave him herpes.
—Guest hurt


55 years old and a widow for 8 years have been a relationship with a separated man for 9 months trusting him. Stupid. Was not feeling well went to the doc was diagnosed with a severe uti and was told that I may have herpes the doc gave me a prescription for the herpes, but being in denial did not begin the med, ended up in the hospital to find out the day I got home from the doc that it was herpes. I now have the feeling of being numb from my private area down through my feet. I am scared. From what I have been told is it has to run its course. I dont know how this will end.
—Guest Amess


Well im 16, Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 months now, And outta know where it started hhurting to pee, and hurting to do everything, so i made an app, But by the time my app came around it hurt so bad they couldnt even do a full pap on me. So they just took swabs. I have herpes.... My boyfriend says he doesnt have it. But when youve only been with one person who could it have been... I am so ashamd to do anyting... I just wanna sit in my room and die.. FML
—Guest Roxy


i just turned 17 about a week after my birthday my vagina started to hurt really bad. my first thought was this must be a yeast infection.....time went on and things got much worse. finaly my mom and i went to the emergency room after about 10 mins. of being examined the doctor said this definetly looks like herpies. i burst into tears and ive hardly stoped crying since. it hurts that there's such a stigma for herpies.....i feel so alone. i feel like a freak now. im not sure how i got this. possible from my boyfriend's cold sore when we had oral sex but im afraid that ive had this for a while and just didnt know. i dont want to ruin his life i feel so horrible. i just dont know what to do, for the most part the pain and fever is going away but everything looks so gross down there. im a freak. now i have a cold sore in my mouth, what if it gets in my eyes. i just want to be normal, im so scared and i feel completely alone. all i have is regrets and fears.
—Guest alone and young


—Guest NANCY323


I'm a 40 yr old female who was just visually diagnosed today. I've been married for 11 years and I do believe we have been faithful to eachother. I was a very naughty girl in my teens and early 20s. Even though I haven't led that lifestyle for decades, it's coming back to haunt me. The doctor was an older women who has been doing this for years. She took one look at me and said this was the worst outbreak she has ever seen. The pain is unbearable and I seem to have at least 30 ulcers (that I can see). Just started Valtrex today, but already it seems to be getting worse and worse. How long is this supposed to last? I need to go back to work - supposed to go on business trip in a couple of weeks! How do you cope with everyday life while it feels as though I'm sitting on razor blades?

Gonna Check

Well today I went to have a bath today and jumped out to check myself. And Im 99.9% sure its Herpes. I have all the symptoms that i should of got checked. Your your own doctor. My backs been hurting for months and slowly went up to my back. Having menstral pains when you dont have your period isnt good. So i've check pictures and Im so sure I have it. My first semester of College and i'm stress to the max. Of course a out break could happen. So tommorrow I'm going to get this dealt with so I can feel better. I cryed for a bit but reading all of these stories is helping me deal with this. Im more imbarressed talking to the doctor about it. Im not sure where or who i got this from. I know who I slept with and used protction but still...so Im confused...I just cant wait to get relieved and try move on with my life and be strong as all you
—Guest Tommorrow

i got herpes when i was 15

i caught herpes of my first boyfrien when i was 15 he was 20. it started of being sore when i went for a pee then i got so bed that i went to the clinic to get tested but he convinced me it was nothink. so the doctor checked me. she saw some red imflamation and said i will just check you for herpes but i dont think it is then about 2 weeks later i phoned up to get my results and they told me i had it. i was in shock first because i trusted him and he didnt get checked before he started having sex with me. then after about a month it started hitting home what i had i felt disgusted when i lookde at myself in the mirror, depressed and i wish i can go back but i cant go back
—Guest Chelsey


i'm 17 and this is the age i thought i was invincible. senior year of high school, i thought i could do whatever i wanted. until I found out i had chlamydia. i took medication for that but then i started feeling pain in my vagina. i thought maybe it was from that but everywhere i looked said nothing about chlamydia being painful. then i saw a sore, and had really watery discharge all the time. I was checking everything out with a makeup mirror and had a feeling it was herepes. obviously i didnt want to believe that though. I got nervous and called my doctor again. she didnt even need to run the test, the second she looked under the paper blanket that was covering me she knew. I cryed right there in the doctors office and that was about 4 days ago. i can't stop crying ever now. now I found out touching my eyes can spread it to there and im even more paranoid. It hurts to do everything; walk, sit, stand, get up, going to the bathroom. i just can't get over any of it.
—Guest too young

Terrible Shame

So, I received oral sex from a girl I knew and didn't see much of her for 4 weeks...no symptoms. I then hooked up with her again same way at that 4 week mark. About a week later I noticed a single white spot on the shaft of my penis. It wasn't really raised at all and my physician thought it was just skin pigmentation. I got tested at the 2 week mark from when I was with the girl and tests came back negative for everything. Unfortunately, this was not the case...you need to wait a couple months, at least, for antibodies to build up that would yield a positive result. I ended up getting a cut on my finger that weekend, and really didn't think much of it. I now realize that I got the herpes finger virus, as well. Confident of my test result I went and visited my ex girlfriend...having sex with her and now giving her the disease. 1 month later I now have oral herpes. This is just terrible and I couldn't feel more disgusting. I have genital, finger, and oral herpes from a one night mistake
—Guest Anon

not me!

I knew my boyfriend of 5 yrs was cheating on me and the long distance relationship was too much. I figured since he cheated on me I'd cheat on him, and we would be "even" WRONG. About 2 weeks after cheating on my boyfriend I flew to Miami to see him. We had sex and exactly 2 days after a rash appeared. I didnt think anything of it because i had a vaginal bacterial infection a month before and figured since I did not finish the antibiotics that it was back. Another day past and the sore's came. Painful is a understatement. I refused to go to the doctor and began using my antibiotics thinking it would clear up. I began to get really sick with the chills and flu like symptoms. Went to the doctor and it was herpes. It hurts most because you feel alone. We all think it can't happen to us. These type of things happen to other people not me. Still not sure how i got it. It could be from the person i cheated on my bf with (in which we used a condom) or my boyfriend. Still unsure
—Guest Lola
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  7. First Herpes Outbreak - Share the Story of Your First Herpes Outbreak

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